A year and a half ago
“Lily, are you ready? It’s time to go!”
Sixteen-year-old Lily Morgan came running down the stairs at neck breaking speed and jumped the last three steps to land right in front of her father.
“You have to stop this, young lady. You’ll break something one of these days,” her father said with an amused smile on his tanned face.
“Maybe,” she said with a shrug.
He put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her toward the door. A warm feeling of love washed over her, and Lily smiled. She loved when her father touched her. She loved to feel what he felt when they were together, this warm and fuzzy feeling which reminded her of a teddy bear for the soul.
Her mother on the other hand…
“Dad, where are we going? You had me dress up and all, and now, you’re letting me wonder.”
“You’ll see.”
As they walked to the car, Lily could see her mother, Beatrice, sitting inside, her arms crossed, looking straight in front of her, a frown on her face.
Lily sighed.
She did not like to be close to the woman. Beatrice always felt belligerent and unhappy.
“Be nice now,” her father said, but Lily could tell he didn’t mean it, or at least, he didn’t think her mother was worth the effort.
For the hundredth time, Lily wondered why her parents were still together. They argued constantly and her father had been sleeping in one of the guest rooms for most of the last year. It was obvious the two didn’t love each other anymore.
Her father let go of her, and Lily walked to the door behind Beatrice’s. She got into the car and closed the door.
“This had better be good, Marcus,” Beatrice said as her father took his seat. “I don’t have all day!”
“You know what, Beatrice, why don’t you stay here?” her father said with a smile on his face, asmile that didn’t reach his eyes. “After all, it’s not like you’re likely to enjoy it.”
Beatrice threw him a nasty look then stormed out of the car. She slammed the door behind her and walked to the house, struggling with her purse to find her keys.
Sadly, her father sighed.
“Wanna sit in the front?” he asked, turning to Lily and putting a smile on his face.
“I’m sorry dad,” Lily said, moving to the front by climbing over the console.
“Don’t be, my Lily. It’s not your fault. In fact, nothing we can do will change her.”
A little over three years ago, her father had stopped referring to Beatrice as her mother. It had been strange at first, but he was right: Beatrice had never been a mother to her.
“Let’s not talk about it anymore. Let’s have a good time.”
“You know I know it bothers you, right?”
“Yes, I know. But you shouldn’t let it bother you. To be honest, we’re better off going by ourselves. That way, she won’t spoil it for us.”
Lily smiled at her father. Of course, he was right.
Forty-five minutes later, they took the downtown exit and entered a parking garage along Louisiana. They got out of the car and Lily followed her father to the ground level. They crossed the street and walked toward a building Lily knew very well: Jones Hall.
“We’re going to see the symphony?” she asked, turning to her father.
“Not quite but something equally awesome.”
Half an hour later, they were sitting in the large auditorium, and musicians were taking the stage, musicians with mostly air instruments, especially clarinets.
Ten minutes later, the music began.
It was enchanting.
The lament of the different flutes got Lily like no other music had done before.
It was sad, it was deep, it was utterly beautiful.
As she listened to the first piece, tears came to her eyes. “Wow!” she whispered.
“I know,” her father said.
When the next piece came, it was lively and fun, and mostly lead by piccolos. The tune made a smile appear on her lips. During the entire song, she was bouncing in her seat. All she wanted was to get up and dance. By the end of the song, she was clapping loudly, laughing all the while.
The entire concert was a delight of emotions, strong and poignant, the likes of which made Lily giddy with excitement.
“I knew you would love it, my Lily,” her father said, as they made their way out of the hall at the end of the concert.
She was holding on to his arm with her hand in the crux of his elbow. “Yes, I did!”
She didn’t want to say it but she was glad Beatrice hadn’t come. She would never have appreciated the concert. She always thought Lily playing clarinet and joining the band instead of being a cheerleader or dancer was a waste of time.
“I can’t wait to begin marching band again in July,” Lily said as they were crossing the street.
“And I can’t wait to see you play again,” her father said, smiling at her.
But despite the smile, something was troubling him, something to do with her mother.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Sure.”
A few minutes later, they walked into an Italian restaurant a block away. They had been served their drinks and appetizers when her father spoke again. “Lily, what would you say if it was only you and me at home?”
Lily frowned. She wanted to reach for her father to feel what he was feeling, to see if she could not get a glimpse of what he was thinking but she didn’t dare.
“What do you mean?” she asked slowly.
“Well, I think you know Beatrice and I haven’t seen eye to eye for a while now.”
Lily frowned. That was the biggest understatement she had ever heard, if she had ever heard one.
“I think it’s time for me to… let her go.”
Lily rolled her eyes. Her father was putting it so mildly it wasn’t even funny.
“Dad, you’re not going to ‘let her go’,” she said, punctuating the last three words by making quotation marks in the air with her fingers. “You’re going to regain your liberty the way I see it.”
Her father grinned at her. “I knew you didn’t just have my looks! You have my brain too.”
Lily grinned back at him then turned serious again. “Dad, the only thing I ask is if you ever leave her, I want to live with you,” she said, looking at the table in front of her.
“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that,” he said with a sigh. “I’m going to make sure you do. I haven’t worked out all the details with my lawyer yet but I’ll make sure you’re coming with me.”
Lily sighed in relief. She hoped her father would actually do it, that he would leave Beatrice. She was always so unpleasant, she often gave Lily a headache, even if Lily blocked her pretty well, all things considered. But still, her hostility was sometimes just too profound to stop.
“Do you plan on keeping the house?”
“No. I’m planning on exchanging it for you,” he said, looking at her straight in the eyes.
“But she hates the house!”
As opposed to Lily who had always loved it. It felt like home there, at least every time Beatrice was away. She remembered picking it when she was young. Out of all the models she had visited with her father, that was the one she had liked the most.
And Beatrice hated it.
“She doesn’t?”
“You didn’t know?”
“No, I have to admit I didn’t. But I’m glad you’re telling me. I’ll have to change my strategy. Anything else I need to know?”
“No,” Lily answered, shaking her head.
“Good! Then let’s just enjoy the night and stop talking about her.”
Lily could only agree.
Three weeks later
It was almost six o’clock, and Lily was ready. Her father was taking her out to dinner to celebrate another outstanding progress report card. Her father had been so proud he had offered to take her wherever she wanted to go.
Lily had picked her favorite Italian restaurant.
She had been ready for over half an hour when the doorbell rang. Not thinking anything of it, she kept on revising her lessons, keeping an ear out for her father. She peaked out the window and was puzzled to see a police car parked in front of the house.
Then she felt it: a sudden flash of pure anger.
Frowning, Lily stood and walked out of her room. She went down the stairs and saw Beatrice, standing in the doorway, her hand on the handle. She was holding it so tightly her knuckles were white.
“What’s going on?” Lily asked once she reached the bottom stair.
Beatrice turned and threw her one of the nastiest look Lily had ever seen. And with Beatrice, that was saying something.
“Your father’s dead,” she spat.
Then she stormed away, leaving Lily standing there, in the middle of the lobby, wondering what in the world Beatrice was talking about. Then she turned to the still open door and saw a cop standing there. He was young and looked so sad. The sympathy on his face and in his heart told her all she needed to know but she asked anyway.
“Is it true?”
“I’m sorry miss,” the cop said, looking down at the ground in front of him. “He was in an accident on I-10 earlier today. He didn’t have a chance.”
Lily just looked at the man as if he had grown a second head. She couldn’t quite comprehend what he was saying.
“Miss, are you okay?”
“How… I mean… I just saw him this morning,” she finally managed to say despite the confusion in her head. “Are you sure it’s Marcus Morgan?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Lily grabbed her cell phone from her back pocket and dialed the number under ‘dad’. It rang once, twice, three times then went to voicemail.
Then she tried again.
And again.
But it went to voicemail every time.
Her father never let her calls go to voicemail. He always picked up for her.
Always.
“Miss?” the cop asked.
But Lily was dialing again. After two rings, her uncle Charlie picked up.
“Hey Kiddo!”
“Charlie, did you hear from my dad?”
“No, why?”
“There’s a cop here right now. He’s telling me dad is…” She couldn’t voice it. If she said it, it would only make it real.
“Lily?” Charlie asked alarmed. “What is it?”
“I… I can’t say it, Uncle Charlie,” she said, feeling like the air had left the room.
“Let me talk to the guy.”
Lily gave her phone to the cop who was shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“Yes,” the young officer said into the phone.
Then Lily just tuned him out.
Her father couldn’t be dead. It was just not possible.
Not him.
Not now.
She was too young for him to die.
Heck, he was too young to die.
Dads didn’t die like this.
“Miss?” the cop called, presenting her the phone.
Lily slowly took it.
“Lily?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m coming. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Okay.” Lily hung up and just stood there, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to feel. She was afraid if she moved, it would all be true.
But it couldn’t be.
The cop remained there, silently looking at her, not saying anything, just being there, and Lily wondered why he didn’t do anything.
Wasn’t he supposed to do something?
Wasn’t she?
Suddenly, her uncle appeared next to the cop.
For a moment, Lily thought it was her father but that moment was short lived. While her father and Charlie was identical brothers, Charlie felt nothing like her father.
“I’ve got this,” Charlie said to the young cop, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for staying.”
“No problem, sir.”
In the next moment, Charlie was next to her and had his hands on her shoulders.
“What’s going on, Uncle Charlie?” Lily asked, more confused than ever. “Where’s dad?”
“Lily, I’m so sorry,” he said. Then he inhaled deeply, once, twice, three times. “He’s gone, kiddo.”
Gone.
Gone.
…
“He’s not gone. He’s taking me to dinner,” she said, shaking her head as if to clear her ears of water.
“He can’t, Lily.”
“Then he’ll take me tomorrow.”
Her uncle inhaled again, then tears appeared in his eyes.
“It’s true?”
“Yes, Lily. I’m afraid it is.”
And Lily could feel he wasn’t lying to her. “But it can’t be,” she said, tears now running down her cheeks.
“I know you don’t want to believe it. And I don’t want to believe it either. But Lily, there’s nothing we can do to unmake this. Marcus is gone. He’s…” But her uncle could not finish the sentence as a sob escaped his throat.
“Uncle Charlie?” she asked, her voice high.
He pulled her to him and hugged her, his body rocked by sobs. “I’m so sorry, Lily,” he said, his voice broken.
Lily let the pain wash out with her tears as sobs were shaking her body so hard, she had a hard time to breath. “No, no, no, no, no,” she kept on chanting.
Charlie just held her tighter, his pain as profound as hers.
“Charlie, what am I going to do?” she eventually asked.
“I don’t know, kiddo. We’ll figure it out together. You’ll be all right.”
Somehow, Lily doubted she would ever be all right.